Opinions have changed throughout history about whether it is acceptable to date or marry someone older. It is a gender issue as often an older male is considered acceptable but not an older female. It is also a cultural issue as in some societies it is more common than in others. One of the major considerations is whether dating an older person will lead to marriage, and if not how much time are you willing to “waste” on a relationship that you know has an expiry date? It can be cool and exciting to date an older man but marrying one is a completely different thing. I am not talking about a few years older than you but at least a decade. (In this post I will refer to the older man but woman works just as well).
The Pros of Dating someone Older
Dating an older man can give you an insight into the future, into the life that perhaps awaits you. An older partner can share his life experience with you both in words and in the bedroom. He can offer you a different perspective on life, something you won’t get from men your own age. With age comes wisdom and your older man would probably be more laid back and open to new ideas. Older men are more financially stable. They have finished climbing the career ladder and can now enjoy more free time and well earned money. You will be treated to expensive dinners and probably won’t have to pay form much. Older men are usually true gentlemen.
The cons of Dating Someone Older
When dating an older man you must realize that he might not fit in with your circle of friends and it might result in you losing contact with your mates and becoming isolated. An older man might be set in his ways, inflexible and unadventurous. A man who pays for everything and leads in the relationship can be controlling. You will be fitting into his life rather than the other way round. All the wonderful wisdom your older partner has amassed could just make him condescending. An older man means an older body, expect wrinkles and saggy bits! An older partner who is set in his ways will probably enjoy more nights at home rather than in loud nightclubs. Be prepared for being mistaken for his daughter.
Marrying Someone Older
Marrying someone older is a completely different concept to dating an older person. When dating it is a fleeting, time-specific experience and one you can look back on. But when you wed you have to think of the long term. It is not just about sex with a more experienced partner or going out with someone financially stable. Other issues arise like will an older spouse want children? Has he already got children? Will you end up looking after him like a nurse in old age? Will you be left alone in old age after he passes away? Will your life be restricted once he is too old to participate in sports, excursions etc? Love can conquer all but you must go into a marriage with an older partner with your eyes wide open and ready to accept the challenges that lie ahead in the same way that any marriage faces challenges.